Monday, 18 January 2016

I don’t know


Bluebells at Christmas Common in Buckinghamshire, April 2011

I don’t know if body and soul can exist separately. I don’t know if there is a God separate from creation. I don’t know if a theory of everything is possible, so that what I think and feel can find its place in science. I don’t know whether it’s love that makes the world go round. I don’t know if love is the word I want. It’s such a worn-out coin, the inscription has almost rubbed off. I don’t know if language can express my thought. I don’t know if it’s possible to think without language. I don’t know what others feel. I don’t know what I lack or what I ought to strive for. I don’t know if I ought to use the word ‘ought’.

I don’t know if my gladness and love is conditional. I don’t know if it makes sense to talk of my inner life and my outer life. I don’t know how I shall die or when. My body fears death but my ego does not.

Is the universe moving inexorably towards an Omega Point, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin claimed? Do things happen because they are meant to happen? What is “meant to” meant to mean? I don’t know.

I like my not-knowing. As soon as I know something, I know that the other person, who knows the opposite, is wrong. I prefer to tolerate him along with his prejudices as I tolerate myself along with my own prejudices. A prejudice isn’t the same as knowing, but a rule-of-thumb substitute for knowing. For example, I am prejudiced in favour of things as they were in the days of my youth, when (for example) we used ‘Man’, ‘he’, ‘him’ to include both sexes without being accused of sexism. I recognize my prejudices as being such, and don’t take them seriously. I know that some of them are wrong. (So I do know something.)

Not knowing isn’t the same as not caring. I care about the questions, not so much about the answers. Everyday life carries on, either way. Everyday life is the abode of gladness.
The trivial round, the common task
Will furnish all we need to ask
Questions without answers are open windows that let in fresh air, so I can breathe freely. I can wander through the Garden of Eden, enjoying the fruit of every tree, knowing only that I am naked.

15 Comments:

At 18 January 2016 at 11:58 , Anonymous Nelson said...

Wislawa Szymborska agrees:

“I admit that I find the question of life beyond Earth quite interesting, but still I’d prefer not to have it settled too quickly and definitively. For example, I’m cheered, not disappointed, by the virtually certain fact that there is no life on any other planet in our solar system. I like being a freak of nature on our one and only, extraordinary Earth. . . .

See more here.

 
At 18 January 2016 at 20:23 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 18 January 2016 at 20:43 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 18 January 2016 at 21:18 , Anonymous Nelson said...

Ha ha, every freak of Nature is natural, part of the rich diversity, I’d say.

As for Mr Trump, I’m glad you framed it as a question because despite not knowing lots of things I can say with confidence that no, he won’t be banned. I read a summary of the debate and only a few MPs felt that free speech wasn’t for the likes of him for fear that he might encourage extremists to threaten the peace.

And if he becomes President he will of course be officially welcomed, & invited to dine with the Queen. Some heads of state with much blood on their hands as opposed to mere speeches have enjoyed the same treatment. It’s called diplomacy.

So I hope you all vote wisely when the chance comes!

 
At 18 January 2016 at 22:27 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 19 January 2016 at 08:17 , Anonymous Tom said...

A lovely, honest post, and one with which I concur. I do know one thing, I hope, and that is without questions, preferably the right questions, there is no awakening.

 
At 19 January 2016 at 18:39 , Anonymous Nelson said...

Good point, Tom, and according to Ramana Maharshi's own account, his own awakening was due to a single question: "What is this ‘I’?"

Not for the first time your brief comment has set me off on a train of thought, about questions, honesty, awakening and much besides. More than could fit into a comment.

How do I know when I am being honest? Do I cross-examine myself, testing my words against facts? Not usually, especially not if I've written a poem.

I unburden myself in some way that feels good. I might call it honesty, but then I might be deceiving myself. Not-knowing is everywhere!

 
At 19 January 2016 at 19:53 , Anonymous Natalie d'Arbeloff said...

Very good post indeed. The "I don't know" state is far preferable to the know-it-all state (which is probably at the root of most conflicts, whether personal or universal). On the other hand, the questioning state,so prevalent in childhood and so often repressed or wiped out in adulthood for fear of criticism, humiliation or exclusion if one's questions go against the majority opinion - the need to know and the search for the right question (as Tom said) is an essential motivation, a reason to carry on searching for truth, from the most mundane to the loftiest, not in order to gain the power of 'knowing it all'(impossible anyhow) but only to keep refining the questions.

 
At 20 January 2016 at 09:33 , Anonymous Nelson said...

Yes! To keep searching for the right question and keep refining the questions.

And to ask oneself the same question more or less constantly, "What shall I do?". As opposed to telling oneself. And to keep quiet so as to hear the answer, even when, or especially when, it is "nothing". Within that "nothing", might there not be an awakening?

 
At 20 January 2016 at 10:38 , Anonymous Nelson said...

On a lighter note this morning at random and by accident I went to youtube (misclicking a bookmark) and found this Manchester street scene which I'd call Islam vs. free speech, not vs. Rasta. It led on to another one from Manchester which I believe is a demo of an organization called the English Defence League, being carefully protected by the police, and being heckled by a rag bag of communists and masked warriors of unknown persuasion.

Final score: good-humoured tolerance 1: bigotry 0.

 
At 21 January 2016 at 08:34 , Anonymous Bryan White said...

Isn't there a Zen thing about "Beginner's Mind"?

 
At 21 January 2016 at 10:57 , Anonymous Nelson said...

I don’t know, that’s another item to add to the list.

It’s good to see you back, Bryan. I’ve missed you, and I’m not the only one, as you may have guessed.

 
At 24 January 2016 at 00:25 , Anonymous ellie Clayton said...

William Blake:

Jerusalem, PLATE 77, (E 231)
"England! awake! awake! awake!
Jerusalem thy Sister calls!
Why wilt thou sleep the sleep of death?
And close her from thy ancient walls.

Thy hills & valleys felt her feet,
Gently upon their bosoms move:
Thy gates beheld sweet Zions ways;
Then was a time of joy and love.

And now the time returns again:
Our souls exult & Londons towers,
Recieve the Lamb of God to dwell
In Englands green & pleasant bowers. "

 
At 25 January 2016 at 03:45 , Anonymous Nelson said...

A theme of awakening seems to be gathering momentum in these parts!

 
At 26 January 2016 at 16:27 , Anonymous Nelson said...

Or there’s this Bach Cantata, one of my favourites:
“Wachet Auf, ruft uns die Stimme

This is the first verse, in an English rendering:

Wake, arise, the voices call us
Of watchmen from the lofty tower;
Arise, thou town Jerusalem!
Midnight's hour doth give its summons;
They call to us with ringing voices;
Where are ye prudent virgins now?
Make haste, the bridegroom comes;
Rise up and take your lamps!
Alleluia!
Prepare to join
The wedding feast,
Go forth to meet him as he comes!

For the full version, see this page

 

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